dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize