we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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