His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Everclear isn't food dammit
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
