So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
