so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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