why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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