try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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