It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
