He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
