lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
