New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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