Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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