yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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