I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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