Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my poor anus
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
