Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
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Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
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oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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