Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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