It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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