i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
