Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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