I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
