To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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