your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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