Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
