if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....