erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What drink are we having for lunch?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"