i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay