do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that