Kiss
Puke
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
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It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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