is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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