It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
