Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
