Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
