so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
