shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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