its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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