You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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