Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just gift wrapped bread.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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