their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
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I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize