Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
