apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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