it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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