Kiss
Puke
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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