I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize