P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
