you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
