Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
