Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize