Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
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My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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