i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When did angry sex become our thing?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
