this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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