just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize