Hey man sorry I got all grabby
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize