They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
