I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize