the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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