I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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