Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
