You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
